Basically my Nana died. Yes, the nana, the myth, the legend.

I had started to write a whole blog about it but honestly barely anyone reads my blog and it was a bunch of family shit. Unfortunately I did not have the time, willpower, or character names to detail all my family lore so I’ll lay out the basics.

Tuesday the 5th of August, dad got a call from pop (his dad) saying Nana was taken to hospital in palliative care which is like end of life hospital.

I caught the bus to Gero on that Thursday and spent the next couple days at the hospital with Nana pretty much. I was supposed to catch the bus home on the following Tuesday.

Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Nana was quite emotional. I could tell it was definitely near the end because she kept slurring her words and losing her breath trying to speak and eat. We had some good conversations though, and nearly every other sentence she just kept saying I love you. ❤️

Sunday morning we got the call that she was still breathing but hadn’t woken up, signaling it was near the end. By the end of the day she still hadn’t died so I asked to stay the night with her at the hospital because I just knew it would be that night.

At around 2:30am on the Monday morning we called the rest of the family back up to the hospital because her breathing had slowed right down. We were all with her when she did finally pass at 6am.

Then that week, instead of going back home I just stayed at Nana’s house and helped clean and pack everything up. It was awful throwing all her things away because no one wanted them and I was repeatedly so mad at my family for all the decisions they’d made. But I won’t get into all that because it makes me unnecessarily mad and seem like a selfish person.

The funeral was held on that Thursday, the rest of my family drove up from Bunbury for it, and we all got home on that Saturday.

I cried that Monday morning in the hospital chapel, and at the funeral when Pop was speaking about Nana, but haven’t been upset apart from that.

I think it helped that I had spent so much time with Nana the past 3 years or so, and I knew she was so ready to go. Go see her husband, my Poppa. See her parents, her sisters.

At the end she was quite scared of the unknown, but she was still ready. Nana had said to me for yearsss that she didn’t want another birthday and there’s no point in her being here any longer.

I’m happy for Nana really, and proud that she finally let go.

— yes, all this happened a month ago. I’ve been collecting my thoughts on how to write it succinctly but also respectfully and without dissing my entire extended family —

Now a few other things that have gone on.

Dad had his first eye surgery. I accompanied him to that in Perth so he had company while he recovered. It wasn’t the worst but there’s only so much time I can spend in the same room as dad.

The day after we got home from that, I was off to visit John!

For obvious reasons I will leave out the explicit details, but it was such a good time. I was there for two nights and it wasn’t even all about sex or anything, we talked about politics (very attractive🥵) and binge watched tv shows and he cooked breakfast and dinner each day for us both.

Definitely planning to see him again soon. We didn’t discuss relationships or anything because he had said originally – like I told you all – that he’s more looking for a friends with benefits thing until the right person comes along.

And that works fine for me. Considering he does live 2 hours south I don’t know if a real relationship would work anyway, especially once I go back to work. However, I think we just understood each other really well and he’s still talking to me like normal and hasn’t blocked me after I got back. So that’s nice and more than I can say for about 95% of other guys.🤷‍♀️

Work still isn’t back from the renovations, which is pissing me off a little bit because even though I’m still getting paid (as a casual which is unheard of) I don’t have anything to get me out of the house!

I’ve started babysitting my cousins a couple times a week after school for a little bit of money. Not that I’m doing it for the money; again, just anything to get me out of the same 4 walls of my bedroom essentially. Also, not like they need babysitting, they’re 12 and 9, but its more just supervision and someone to keep them company before their parents get home from work.

I’m still doing pole dancing, and in fact the lesson from this week was soo good and just really awesome and fun. We had a full class, so 5 of us students and Missy teaching. I was just nailing the moves and felt great. Maybe because the weathers not so cold anymore.

I have a feeling the rain and clouds were getting to me, especially not working. The couple days of sunshine we’ve had feel like they’ve cured my depression.

In one week, Connor and I are going to Geraldton again (fucking end me please).

His band has been asked by the city council to play at Battle of the Bands a tribute to his friend that died. The friend was actually the guitarist in the band, and they (Connor and band) won the best Youth band last year at the event.

Technically he could go by himself, but straight after that’s done, we’re leaving for Melbourne for Luke’s graduation from basic training, and there is no way Connor can make his way through Perth from the bus station to the hotel by himself.

Anyway we’ve been packing for that, which is always difficult because Melbourne is known as the state in Australia that goes through four seasons in a day. My suitcase literally has three different jumpers/jackets, a singlet and denim shorts, bathers, scarf, umbrella, summer dress….

Guys just wish me luck that the weather’s not bad.

Sorry again for not updating this more often. I was really trying to figure out a way to not just rage about my family anonymously because I do not want random strangers and/or people who know me to think I hate them. It sucks because so many of my last hours with Nana I was more thinking about how angry she would be if she was in her right mind and knew what they were doing and planning.

That’s mostly all that’s been happening. I did actually get tonsilitis once I was back from down south, went on antibiotics for it and then the antibiotics gave me a separate infection. So that was a very rough week and a half.

Also in recent news, I have started planning my birthday party! 🥳Because I have absolutely nothing else in the world to entertain me. My birthday is around the middle of October, but I’ve planned the party for earlier so that it’s in school holidays and maybe some friends that are doing uni can come down. I’ve invited Kylie (who can’t make it but I didn’t want to leave her out of my list), Gracie who’s still in Geraldton for a gap year, Sami, Emelie, Beatrice, Ruby, Missy, and my cousin Rosie from Sydney. Yet to see if anyone will actually show up but fingers crossed.

I’d considered going out to the club, but Gracie doesn’t drink and if everyone can join, there aren’t many Ubers that have 8+ seats. Also, it would be such an expensive night. So instead, we are doing karaoke and cocktails at my house! I’m really looking forward to it… even though it’s not that close and I don’t have the funds for it right now.

Mum asked me how I was feeling about Nana the other day, being as its already been a month without her. And I said honestly I’m relieved for her. We just had Father’s day here in Australia, and I said that’s the first one she would’ve spent with her dad in like 50 years. So I feel okay.

More so now that I’ve got some (thanks John)

And that is a very brief recap of the past month! I’ll post again probably once we’re back from Melbourne because let’s be honest – no one is reading and interested in the day-to-day life format I was writing in for a gap year girl with no job.

Until next time!