• tw: mentions of s/h, depression

I got a tattoo!!!!

I have alwaysss wanted tattoos, and I remember the exact moment I knew this.

I was at a friends 8th birthday party, we went to a beauty salon and got our hair done. I was wearing a bali dress the same colours as a rainbow paddlepop. We put temporary tattoos on and I got a fairy on my ankle. Since that day I have been dreaming of that exact fairy.

I did not get the fairy tattoo.

I can’t exactly picture it anymore so I’ll have to learn how to sketch first, so I can draw it perfectly.

No, I got a frangipani – for my nan who died last year. Thats the flower I associate her with the most. So now I have a pink/yellow frangipani on my inner upper left arm, with her handwriting ‘Love Nan” under it.

Ok honestly… it did not hurt as much as I thought it would. Both my parent said to me beforehand, “It won’t tickle!” but it did tickle lol

I mean, it stung a little bit in some places but yeah not nearly as much as I had built it up in my head. Not sure if thats because I used to s/h that I wasn’t afraid of that sort of pain? Didn’t tell my dad that though…. mum and I made a joke about it afterwards (thank goodness she can take a joke, and we can joke about it now) (I have been clean for over two years)

Yep so I’m starting a collection of tats. Because I’m cool like that 😎 Or at least intend to be.

Apart from my flower and my fairy, I also want:

• an infinity sign on my right wrist, for my best friends and also autism
• a sun, moon, and three stars on my right back shoulder for my parents and us three kids
• a cross somewhere (behind my ear?) for my religion
• something to cover up aforementioned s/h scars, so it will probably be a large flower piece, I’m thinking sunflowers, again for autism
• a pair of bluebirds on my hip, for my great nana and poppa, who loved bluebirds so much their house is literally full of miniature figurines of them
• a poppy/lavendar for my other grandparents, because my pop fought in the Vietnam war and started sort of the ‘tradition’ of boys in our family joining the defence force
• my future kids’ names, birthdays, or star signs also somewhere tbc
• possibly something sexy on my lower back but mum detests the idea of me getting a tramp stamp

And thats it for now. I think.

It for sure helps that I didn’t find it painful, so that list should eventually be completed.

I meant to write this ages ago (three weeks) but man the executive dysfunction is getting to me. I got the job at San Churro and I completed all the online courses, but because I’m going to NSW for nearly a month, the owner didn’t want me to start until after that. So I was briefly happy at the prospect of having a job, and then proceeded to not be able to work for nearly 7 weeks after being offered the job. Oh well, I know I have to be thankful but I’ve been feeling so bleh its hard to be excited or motivated to do anything essentially. I’ve been sleeping so much. Before ya’ll come at me saying its depression, I know its depression which is why I’m on anti-depressants.

Hopefully its only uphill from here though! I leave for NSW this Friday night, I’m seeing my friends and cousins and have heaps of fun stuff planned, like the Royal Easter Show during the easter weekend (im sorry i cant make it to your party Janey 😭😭). And then after I’m back I’ll start working officially. Hopefully.

Thank you guys for all your support ❤ don’t stop reading my blog I’m getting so much gratification/validation from it lmao.

Might post once or twice in NSW depending how much patience I have to type it all out on my phone. This b*tch as* laptop is not coming with me because everytime I take my laptop on holiday I never end up using it.

Oki peace out ✌